In the last 6 weeks 90% of the women who have contacted me have said they feel like they have no time for themselves. This is by no means unusual.
We all have many roles in life - if you're a married woman and have children, you're a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, sister, friend, business owner, employee or boss, etc, etc. What often happens is that you always tend to the more urgent roles and you and your personal time is usually the last thing on the list. As a result, you start feeling resentful but also very soon you may burn out.
That's the point when people usually contact me. Which is great because I love working with people who are ready to take action and make changes in their lives.
So what do you do?
Do you just accept this as your lot in life while you have young kids in the house or what do you do?
Here are my 3 suggestions:
1. Decide that you are also important
I never ever believe that we need to sacrifice the parts of us that make us feel most alive. This is a mindshift change from mothers being the martyrs so take your time and work on this mental adjustment.
2. Identify a couple of activities that will work for you
Everybody is different so this is a personal exercise. Some of my clients like to do pamper-type activities like a manicure, pedicure, hair appointment or massage. Some others like to do creative things like sewing, mosaics, scrapbooking, painting and decorating. Still others just want time, either by themselves to recharge (often the introverts) or with a couple of close girl friends to connect with themselves again.
Are you seeing which group you fit into?
3. Choose the minimum response that will yield results
When my twins were newborns, life was crazy. I felt like I had no time to do anything for myself as I was running around washing bottles, making bottles, feeding, burping, bathing, changing, getting the baby to sleep, and then the other one would wake!
During those crazy times, I was happy if I could have just 5 minutes to sit, drink a hot cup of tea in peace and eat breakfast. Seriously, my expectations were just that low.
That was my minimum response.
Now, I expect hours every day to "do my thing" and I have it because I've set things up that way. But I started very, very small. See?
So what is the minimum response for you?
Now that you have those questions sorted out, start creating the time for yourself.
Don't settle for less - you are absolutely worth it.
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